This one is for all those Mothers out there that don’t understand why their Daughter/ Son doesn’t want to keep their Special Day ‘Traditional’ and ‘Proper’ just like they did.
Here’s a couple of reasons that might (hopefully) help you understand our thoughts on Tradition:
-Today, couples want a Day of their own- They want to make decisions based on their own feelings, belief, and desires….We like things to be unique and memorable- Not just a ‘typical wedding’ like everyone else has had.
-I’ll be honest here-We aren’t very good at being told what we have to do (When there isn’t just cause for the demand). We prefer to do the research and make our decisions based on facts we find.
Please don’t take me the wrong way, as a generation in whole, we aren’t trying to be disloyal or rebellious (Well, maybe a little rebellious)….but the point is we aren’t trying to hurt anyone by not following the ‘rules’…we simply want to make the best decision we can and when it comes to a Wedding- though opinions are welcomed, just keep in mind it should be ‘OUR’ Day to make all of the decisions!!
In order to better pacify many of you…I actually did some research to find out exactly where some of these Traditions come from- and wow! Talk about surprising- No wonder many of them are seldom followed today!
1st: Staying Separate vs. First Look Photo Sessions.
It appears that staying separate before the ceremony has nothing to do with ‘Bad Luck’. It actually was something done back when there were arranged marriages- The purpose was to prevent the Bride or Groom from changing their mind about following through with the ceremony based on 1st glance!
Well, I’m sorry but we don’t see a whole lot of Arranged Marriages these days- so I see no harm in seeing each other dressed before the wedding takes place- Plus: There are actually a few major perks to seeing each other early. Here are a couple:
-If Bride/ Groom gets really nervous in front of crowds, it helps calm down their nerves and not be quite as anxious (ie: About to pass out!) When the bride comes down the aisle.
-Allows for you to take many of your photos before the ceremony (possible even at multiple sites) and you don’t have to miss out on an hour or more of the partying with your guests!
2nd: The Veil
So I get it- It was Grandma’s/ Auntie Sue’s veil and every other woman in the past 20 years has worn it in your family for their wedding. Okay- Well maybe that’s a good reason to follow this tradition and please the Family Matriarch.
But- If you are interested in the true 1st origin of the meaning behind the veil- Here it is:
-According to those in the history of Rome; the veil was worn in order for the Bride to disguise herself from the evil spirits that were ‘out to get her’ due to their jealousy of her happiness.
Well, that sounds real pleasant huh?!
Of course…more religions see it as a Sign of Humility and respect before God ….but still- wasn’t Rome’s original meaning for it a bit more creepy/crazy?!
3rd: Breaking the Glass
I always thought this was something that only the Jewish took part in….turns out I was wrong.
I actually really like this one!
Supposedly, the breaking of the glass is about strength….and the number of pieces it is broken into equals the number of years of a Happy marriage!
4th: Freezing the Top tier of your Wedding Cake
Yuck! Something about year-old Frost-Bitten cake just doesn’t sound too delicious does it?
Well, it turns out that this was a tradition started in England. Couples would save the top tier and either eat it on their 1st Anniversary or at their Child’s Christening.
The Fact is: Back then, cakes used to be Brandy-soaked! (What?! Why don’t we do this now?? Lol). Anyway, this made them much easier to preserve for long periods of time. (and they always had kids pretty quickly after marriage so that shortened the wait time for many).
Now-a-days, cake is expensive! Many couples don’t want to pay the extra cash just to save a cake they may or may not even enjoy! Plus, today it is harder to keep a wedding cake fresh (especially with all those yummy flavors and fruity fillings we like to choose) but it is still possible….Just be sure to get advise on how to properly save that top tier (And whether it will actually keep for a full year or if you’ll have to eat it a bit early…like at your 3 month anniversary instead!) *Another option: Ask your baker to make you a mini version of your cake….Or just remember who made it & have them make you a 6” tier a year later! —That’s what I think I’d do.
5th: The Garter
I think this one blows my mind more than any of the others:
Medieval England & France: Garter is a ‘love token with magical properties’ (Not …touch it and you’re doomed to get married next- Guys! Lol)
That actually sounds pretty nice right? …WRONG!!!
It turns out that people used to rip pieces of the bride’s gown off (Yes, even during the ceremony and No- She didn’t request that they do so).
Once the Brides smartened up a bit & started to wear the garter to give them something else to ‘aim for’…Male guests would try to pull it off and in it to their hat for Good Luck.
(A tad different from having the Man you just married take it off your leg huh?!)
I think after many years of leaving a battered bride at the altar in torn rags…an then many men ‘fondling’ the new bride trying to get that garter- Someone finally smartened up and decided to throw the garter instead. So tip to all the men attending weddings these days: Catch it! …Its good luck after all!
So there you have it. Obviously everyone has the right to make their own choices on what to/not to follow, but just maybe this will help guide others to agree with you
A Special thank you to the following reference sites:
Brides.com, weddingcakecreations.com, marthastewartweddings.com, cnn.com, people.howstuffworks.com.